Season 5

Episode Guide

Aurthur, Spooner

S5 E1
Sep 24, 2002
When Carrie gets her big break and is assigned team leader over a fairly lifeless group that's stuck working nights for several weeks preparing for a case, she realizes being the boss isn't all it's cracked up to be. Meanwhile, while Carrie works nights, Doug begins suffering from insomnia and calls upon Arthur for some company.

Window Pain

S5 E2
Oct 1, 2002
Feeling inferior to, and looked-down upon by, the new neighbors, Carrie tries to make a good impression, but Doug couldn't care less. Meanwhile, Arthur tries to use Spence for free subway rides.

Holy Mackerel

S5 E3
Oct 8, 2002
Doug and Carrie start going to church after an uncomfortable encounter with their priest and when Carrie's prayer for a raise is answered, she gets a little carried away and starts praying for such trivial matters as a shoe sale. Doug learns of Carrie's petty prayers and confronts her, but she then catches him using his prayers for a New York Jets victory.

Kirbed Enthusiasm

S5 E4
Oct 15, 2002
Deacon discovers that Kirby wants to quit his football team and asks Doug to be his assistant coach in order to show Kirby what the spirit of the game is all about. Doug makes a deal with Kirby that if he'll continue to play football, Doug will try out for the Rebels, a semi-pro football team.

Mammary Lane

S5 E5
Oct 22, 2002
Doug's bowling team prepares for a tournament, while Carrie agrees to babysit Mr. Kaplan's son, in hopes of furthering her career. But when Doug throws out a mercy flirt and Carrie runs into an awkward set of hands, all goes downhill.

Business Affairs

S5 E6
Oct 29, 2002
Doug stops by Carrie's office, and is introduced to her work-husband Curt. Although Carrie assures him that he has nothing to worry about since Curt is gay, Doug is threatened by just how close the two are. Meanwhile, Arthur is jealous of a new dog that Holly has added to her route.

Flame Resistant

S5 E7
Nov 5, 2002
Doug and Carrie run into Doug's high school girlfriend, Margie, at his favorite sports bar. Carrie gets jealous when she discovers that Doug's mother would rather spend time with his ex-girlfriend than her, while Margie and Doug fight over the song that he was meant to write for her back in high school.

Flash Photography

S5 E8
Nov 12, 2002
At a wedding, Doug takes a naughty picture with a disposable camera supplied by the bride and groom. After letting Danny take the blame, and after confessing to a priest, he has the dreaded task of coming forward with the truth.

Connect Four

S5 E9
Nov 19, 2002
Carrie wins four company seats to Knicks games, but insists on taking a couple over Doug's friends. Meanwhile, Arthur digs himself a hole by pretending he can "fix" parking tickets.

Loaner Car

S5 E10
Nov 26, 2002
Doug loans Carrie to Deacon to help prepare Thanksgiving dinner. When Deacon ditches her for Holly's services, his web of lies soon gets out of control. Trying to cover it up, Doug continues to dig a hole for himself.

Mentalo Case

S5 E11
Dec 17, 2002
A toy from their childhood leads to a rift between Deacon and Doug. Meanwhile, Carrie tries to give her father a great Christmas gift, but this proves hard to do when everyone thinks of the wrong gifts they are receiving, altering their original gift choices.

Jung Frakenstein

S5 E12
Jan 7, 2003
Carrie thinks Doug needs professional help to control his excessive eating habits, so she persuades him to see a therapist. When Carrie sees Doug's great improvements, she asks the therapist to work on Doug's other issues. Meanwhile, Arthur believes he's addicted to nasal spray and fights to stay off of it.

Attention Deficit

S5 E13
Jan 21, 2003
Doug becomes obsessed with his own Super Bowl party after learning that many of his friends will be attending a party thrown by a new co-worker. While Doug is focused on winning back as many guests as possible, Carrie complains that Doug doesn't think about her enough during the day.

Prints Charming

S5 E14
Feb 4, 2003
Doug and Carrie photos get mixed up with another couples. When Doug and Carrie look at the other couples photos, they find out that their lives aren't as good as the others, so they try to do what are seen in the photos. Arthur's new cellphone is in no use when no one calls him.

Animal Attraction

S5 E15
Feb 11, 2003
Doug cannot spend time with Carrie on Valentine's Day, because he has to deliver penguins, with Deacon, from one zoo to another. Meanwhile, Carrie and Holly go out, with Carrie giving Holly tips to land a man. Also, when Arthur and Spence go to up a pick a date for the holiday, he accidentally gets himself a date that is old enough to be his grandmother.

Golden Moldy

S5 E16
Feb 18, 2003
Doug and Carrie are having fun on their vacation with their neighbors in St. Croix, but once Arthur calls with a quote on the current mold problem in the house, all is not so fun.

S'Poor House

S5 E17
Feb 25, 2003
The mold problem in the Heffernan household grows and Doug and Carrie find out to fix the problem will cost them $12,000! Doug, with his tail between his legs, goes to his father to ask for the money, but hits a wall when he wants to know why he and Carrie don't have it in the bank.

Steve Moscow

S5 E18
Mar 11, 2003
Doug and Carrie try to get the Russian workers to repair their house, by going to extreme lengths of giving them vodka.

Cowardly Lyin'

S5 E19
Apr 1, 2003
Carrie gets tickets to an opera but Doug doesn't want to go so he has Deacon help him lie to get out of it. Carrie catches him in the lie which prompts Doug to confess to a series of lies he's been hiding. Doug then tells Carrie that the reason he's been lying is because she's too overbearing. They both agree to be "supportive" of one another but this only leads to more problems.

Driving Reign

S5 E20
Apr 15, 2003
Danny asks Doug for a letter of recommendation at IPS so he can move up to being a driver like Doug. Since this idea does not appeal to Doug, Carrie decides she will write the letter and have Doug sign it. Danny ends up getting the job and puts Doug's skills to the test, and his job on the line, when his ability to beat Doug's delivery time has the boss giving Danny Doug's route.

Clothes Encounter

S5 E21
Apr 22, 2003
Carrie can't stop buying expensive clothes and then returning them within a few days. Spence's new girlfriend is afraid of his dog and tells him to decide who he wants, the dog or her.

Queens 'Bro Bridge

S5 E22
Apr 29, 2003
Arthur and his half-brother Skitch are reunited when Doug sets it up for them to meet again at the tollbooth Skitch works at on the freeway. When Doug realizes they own a house together, he sees the possibility of getting his personal life back when he envisions the basement empty and he and Carrie having some personal time.

Dog Shelter

S5 E23
May 6, 2003
Carrie learns from Janet that Doug had a dog when he was eleven, that they claim is still alive today. Janet admits to Carrie that the original dog died, and they've replaced it--several times--without Doug knowing.

Taste Buds

S5 E24
May 13, 2003
Since Doug never gets what he wants from Carrie, he uses Arthur to ask Carrie for them, so he gets what he wants. Meanwhile, Spence is first on line to see a new movie.

Bed Spread

S5 E25
May 20, 2003
After Doug breaks their bed, Doug and Carrie find temporarily having separate beds is improving their marriage. Arthur discovers that their sweet neighbor, Lou Ferrigno, is actually quite a gossip, when he overhears him through a peep hole in the basement that looks right into his yard.